What's your first memory?
Lying in a hospital bed with tubes up my nose.

And shelling peas on a doorstep into a green bowl.

Have you ever pretended to be foreign?
Yes, French, to avoid being told off by parking in a European language school's car park ( quite stupid place to pretend to be French but I got away with it).

Who would play you in a film?
Ronnie Corbett.

What are you most proud of?
Convincing the advisor of an Arabian queen not to murder his sister for smoking.

If your life was a film would it be:
a) Comedy
b) Drama
c) Action/adventure
d) Horror
e) World cinema
f) Musical
g) Carry On
h) Disney
I think it would be more of a show than a film....probably Equus versus The Sound Of Music (ooh my dark dark mind).

Who would you really really really like to insult if you were brave enough?
OOH my list is very long, usually vacuous TV personalities get my vote and insipid people who are in the pop charts because of sex or money or who their father is grrrrrrrrrrrrr (any clues?)

How would you survive prison if by any chance you got sentenced to jail?
By being very very very polite and helpful. I quite fancy working in the kitchen and being a prison dinner lady though.

What's your favorite piece of clothing?
The flannel kangaroo pajamas I had when I was 5 (god I miss them).

Favorite computer game?
Medal of Honour I just love shooting mercilessly at anything that god-damn gets in my way.

What unlikely film makes you cry or scares you?
Its some kind of cheesy B-film about a dying boy who had a pet arctic wolf hound and green hair.

Worst food?
Boil in the bag fish with parsley sauce ( DISGUSTING) ---ooh and also I hate hate hate hate mussels and oysters...it’s like eating salty sandy snot ( she’s such a heathen).

If you saw yourself in a pub, what would you fancy about yourself?
I don’t think I would fancy myself. But I would think… hmmm, that girl looks like an ewok and they have the best parties.